Dinner @ Hog's Breath with my Honeys..
Next Thanks to my sis (ah popo), Qiang (san san di di), Kai ying (san san mei mei), Ling babe(Lingsy), Mei, Yong and King King... A big thank you for the dessert cum cocktail party!!!! Heart all of u... Muacky!!
Thanks Ling, Liana, Ben, PoPo and not to forget PuiBabe for the wonderful night at Dbl O.. That night ws superb...
Dinner at Hooters was really Great too.. The scenery, ambience and dinner simply melts my heart away...
It has been a long time since I peered into my heart and face it truthfully.. I have been hiding my feelings to myself all along i guess.. cos i'm scared. I fear that leting out my emotions will only cause me to become weak again.. I have been trying to portray a strong image infront of others and show that i can live independantly n that I do not need any shelter or protection from others.. I thought that I have transformed into what I wanted myself to be..
But just ytd, i realised I am wrong.. I am not at all strong nor independant.. I have been able to walk the path alone strongly becos he has always been by my side mentally.. The assurance he gave me that I can go to him if I have any problem touches my heart n I have relied on him all these while.. He has also been there for me thru my lonely period.. But now that I know that he'll be going away for 8mths just shattered my pillar of support.. Sigh!!! Is it relying on him for support or is it Love?? Seriously I can't differentiate between the 2 too.. I am so afraid that I have fallen in love with him subconsciously.. His 8 mths departure just seems like a wake up call to me telling me that I have been over reliance on him for company.. IS it only his company that I miss?? Or have I fallen for him?? SIgh.. I am so scared to face my inner core.. I have no courage to tell him how I feel abt him as well cos i know.. I am not that lucky.. He wouldn't have felt the same way as I do.. N it's just impossible for us to be together I guess.. cos I have done too much things to cause out distance to widen..
Firstly, I am the one who wanted to stop our relationship 3-4 mths ago n complained that his pace is too fast for me.. secondly, I used his innocent friends as a test on him and turned everything into a disaster I have never expected. Ever since then, I dare not do anything anymore cos I feel that the more I do, the worser things will get.. I am the one who screwed up things between us..
Anyway, he's away now.. i guess i should just take this chance to concentrate on my studies and not think about anything at all..